


The Owner's Blog: Why Do Busybodies Backseat Develop Content?

by OhgunAP



Series: The Owner's Blogs [1]
Category: Original Work
Genre: Blogging, Gen, Original Character Death(s), Original Character(s)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-21
Updated: 2019-08-21
Packaged: 2020-09-23 00:51:13
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 705
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20331322
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/OhgunAP/pseuds/OhgunAP
Summary: Crapi doesn't actually die in this piece. He will unfortunately return to and come up with a censorious plan.





	The Owner's Blog: Why Do Busybodies Backseat Develop Content?

Ohgun (The Owner): Hey there fellow developers, artists, writers, bloggers, moviemakers, and musicians. Have you ever had the problem where somebody riding in the backseat of your favorite car, SUV, van, or RV had the audacity to tell you how you should and should not driving YOUR own vehicle?

Crapi: Hey, do you mind slowing down a bit?

Ohgun (The Owner): That typically causes road rage.

Crapi: Could you turn the air up back here? I’m getting a heat stroke. You were clearly supposed to take that last turn instead of going straight.

The numerous complaints coming from Crapi who is sitting in the backseat causes the owner to nearly transform into a ravenous demon when he suddenly stops the car and takes a few deep breaths to calm himself down for a minute.

Ohgun (The Owner): You get the gist of it. Those were examples of backseat driving. So, what would you call comments like these?

Crapi: You use gendered language to refer to your characters in your stories? That’s Hate Speech! You include rape as a device to develop characters in your stories? You are promoting real life rape culture. Why are you ignoring the fact that your coworkers and subordinates were telling disgusting jokes and making derogatory statements on your group’s blog, forum or Discord? Involving children in fiction is child abuse. I’ll report you for pedophilia. If you do not include genders other than male and female in your works a non-discriminatory way, you’re a bigot.

Ohgun (The Owner): What the fuck?

Crapi: You know what your game really needs? It needs a strong translesbian woman of color as the main protagonist. If you don’t include her, then you’re making a racist game. Only a racist would want a game with a straight white male protagonist. The use of violence in fiction will inevitably encourage those who consume it to commit mass killings in real life.

Ohgun (The Owner): (thinking) If this busybody doesn’t shut the fuck up…

Crapi: You main characters need to be made entirely of LGBTQ characters, otherwise your are encouraging your audience to morph into cisgender racist bigots. Never say somebody has balls of steel when describing a brave character’s deeds! That right there is promoting gender stereotyping and misogyny. Gender stereotyping is not the way to introduce or develop a character in a story.

The owner’s eyes begin to glow a violent blood red as he is forced to endure the rantings of his passenger as begins to growl inhumanely.

Crapi: Make the characters in your stories explain the dangers of toxic masculinity for the sake of all women everywhere.

The owner violently pulls the vehicle over to the curb, and parks it before thrusting his right arm through Crapi’s chest, causing a stream of blood to burst out of the hole in his chest and onto the owner’s front body and windshield.

Ohgun (The Owner): Now, I bet you’re thanking be for shutting that busybody up. But that’s not the point of this entry.

The owner pulls Crapi’s heart out of his chest before kicking his now lifeless body out of the vehicle and throwing his heart towards it.

Ohgun (The Owner): Some people call complying to their endless list of demands: “bending the knee.” I simply call it: “Complying to Backseat Developing”. And this is what busybodies in and out of a specific culture who have very strong Left-wing and Right-wing beliefs love to do. Here’s a very reasonable compromise sissies: Let the creative minds like ours make the content that we want to make using themes we want to use to progress our storylines, while you do the same with your content. That’s right… Many of these busybodies don’t really have a creative mind of their own. Do they… Yet, its not really the case that the busybodies with well-established characters and storylines aren’t messing them up by cramming large amounts of their political bias into them. Am I right? Let’s just say it’s time to stop listening and complying to the busybodies and force them and their backseat developing and producing asses to hitch a hike. Tell them to fuck off out of our culture; and Fuck off out of our lives.

**Author's Note:**

> Crapi doesn't actually die in this piece. He will unfortunately return to and come up with a censorious plan.


End file.
